|
|
Post by JaCkSwIfT on Mar 30, 2005 22:53:38 GMT -5
I can't believe there wasn't a redneck jokes part yet...
|
|
|
|
Post by JaCkSwIfT on Mar 30, 2005 22:56:33 GMT -5
You might be a redneck if...
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
You've ever been arrested for loitering.
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
|
|
|
|
Post by scoop on Mar 31, 2005 10:36:14 GMT -5
Lol. Jeff Foxworthy is the best!!
|
|
|
|
Post by JaCkSwIfT on Apr 6, 2005 16:48:40 GMT -5
Sorry about it being so long
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double wide) So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.
The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me -- I don't want to go deaf!"
So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . .", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand . . .
|
|
|
|
Post by OLotA on Apr 6, 2005 16:51:18 GMT -5
stupid
|
|
|
|
Post by JaCkSwIfT on Apr 6, 2005 16:53:54 GMT -5
If your father executes the "pull my finger"
trick during Christmas dinner you might be a redneck.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sub-ZeroX on Apr 6, 2005 19:54:31 GMT -5
you might be a redneck if you just got whipped 5 times to the back of your neck
|
|
|
|
Post by squirrelchu on Apr 27, 2005 16:51:36 GMT -5
You might be a redneck if your family tree does not branch. ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by SwOoSh on Jul 7, 2005 0:59:38 GMT -5
This one is more of a hill billy one but close enough
How do you circumsise a hill billy? Kick his sister in the head.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sub-ZeroX on Aug 7, 2005 19:41:30 GMT -5
Elevator Magic
A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?"
The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!"
While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out.
The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your maw!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Britt918LxR on Sept 16, 2005 15:13:37 GMT -5
This isnt really a joke but....since i have nothing better to do.......I AM SOOOOOOOO BORED!!!!! I dont know about u guys but i am ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by squirrelechick on Oct 2, 2005 23:34:59 GMT -5
Life sucks...Go have a beer!
|
|
|
|
Post by squirrelechick on Oct 2, 2005 23:37:13 GMT -5
OK....Quit talkn bout me! I dun like it too much y'all!
Oh wait a minute...there's sumtin I gots to say....
Get'ER'Done!!!
Sheesh...wouldn't hardly come out!
|
|
|
|
Post by JaCkSwIfT on Oct 22, 2005 12:29:42 GMT -5
pfft you don't know anything, its
Git'er'done, not get
|
|
|
|
Post by squirrelechick on Oct 23, 2005 2:39:28 GMT -5
well if ya wanna get technical...it's actually Git'R'Done!! thanks...mom and dad just went and seen em last night! Pfft
|
|
